Mom

Picked up my mom yesterday at the Greyhound bus station.

From the picture above, it really looks like we have the same eyes.

I really miss her when she's not here. So when she is, it's really great to spend the time we (Hazen and I) have with her.

As I get older, I realize more and more everyday how important it is to ENJOY the time you have with the people you love.

I just wanna thank God for my mom and her dedication of love.

I can see where my tenacity for handling forgiveness comes from. We share many things on how life is, it's probably because she primarily raised me at 13 after the divorce.

My step father Jim did a lot to help too and I thank God for him and my dad Eleazer for that.

I see that everyone tries in their own way and in their own time.

The past is done, the future not yet and all we have is NOW to fully embrace.

Helping When You Hate

Woke up this morning and the (coffee maker "must clean" this damn thing is on) right?

Great.. I just want coffee. Not go through a round of multiple cleanings first.

So a brilliant idea pops into my head.

"When you walk Hazen to the bus stop, go get coffee around the corner fast food joint".

Yay, problem solved.. And delay the coffee maker cleaning to boot.

After breakfast and my beloved coffee, I head out the door.

On the sidewalk I see this dude who looks homeless.

I'm thinking, I should've walked the other way around like I first suggested to myself, but it's too late now.

I walk by this guy and say "how's it goin?" WRONG QUESTION..

Because he speedily answers back with "could be better if I had somethin' to eat".

CRAP!

I turn and look at this dude with the same look I give just before I punch you in the face and say.. "I don't have any cash on me.."

Then he says "don't need no cash just need a burrito".

I'm like.. Really?

So I'm standing there looking at him and looking back at the door that I just came out of.

I look at him again with the I'm gonna punch you in the face look and about face into the building that I just left.

He follows me in and I'm like, man - I really don't wanna do this right now.

I get up to the cashier and she notices me from earlier on.. "can I help you sir?"

"Can I get a burrito like I did earlier" I asked.

"Sure" she said, while looking at me and the half drunk dude behind me.

I can hear his smell and some mumbling about some coupon he's got in his pocket.

I tell em' "it's cool, don't need the coupon".

She hands me back my card and thanks me, then looks at me like "gee you're a really good guy".

Even though I didn't feel like it at that moment. I'm always sure that things happen for a reason.

I tell her (to "just give it to him", as she keeps looking at me like that) - when I turn around.

He tells me "God bless you brother" as I hand him the receipt.

I said "you too" and quickly head for the door.

Now I don't know what to make of anything until later on in life. Because I tend to shoot first and ask questions later.

But I do know that I just did another thing on the list that equates to..

1. Waking up early for a job, that you hate going to
2. Saying thank you after some really shitty service
3. Doing nothing, when people cut you off on the road

Either way, I guess, it's supposed to make you feel good or whatever.

To be honest, I'm just glad it's over and if I burn in hell for not feeling grateful about it.

Then I'll visit you in your heaven from my hell when that day comes.. ;-)

My Brother Daniel

It's 1975 and we've already gave him a name.

I've already prepared myself for the coming of my long awaited baby brother.

Thoughts of playing together and growing up, rehearsed through my mind.

Then the day came to pick him up with my mother from the hospital.

And as my mom rolled up in a wheelchair, she looked different.

I took a step back, as my dad motioned and said to me, to "go see your mom".

I went to her and asked where's Daniel?

The tears rolling down her face spoke more than a thousand words.

And I knew that I would probably grow up alone.

So yeah..

My heart gets heavy every time I hear the song Daniel by Elton John.

And even though I bank on the forever after.

Memories of loss never seem to go away

Kikaida in the 70's

Today I am going through stuff that I wanna keep or throw away when I came across my Kikaida DVD Collection that my aunty Charmaine gave me awhile back. Definitely a keeper..

Just the opening song alone brings back childhood memories of Hawaii.

It's funny how things are a lot different than you remembered them to be. When I first saw Kikaida it was totally off the hook. But when you see it now, it's like whoah...

The way it was back then is what counts though. Carefree times of childhood is always some of the best, with no responsibilities and just the love of your family is just enough.

Writing at 5am

Trying out this getting up and writing at 5am thing.

It's supposed to help me write and begin a regimen of writing.

I also cooked some eggs and oatmeal with coffee for breakfast too.

That way I can start doing the 6 meal a day program also.

Man I'm tired.. Probably cause I fell asleep at around 12:30 or so.

The sun should be comin up over the horizon in a few minutes. Think I'll get out and walk outside to check that out.

Got lots of things to do today.. and I don't know where to start.. I guess this is a good place to begin at the moment.

I'll need to refine my list of things to do as I go along. But I think that this 5am writing thing is gonna be a good thing.

Becoming a Giveaway Artist.. Hmmm?

Don't know much about making a living as a giveaway artist, but some immediate benefits are pretty clear.

Bren Bataclan Giveaway Artist of Cambridge

What is a giveaway artist?

A giveaway artist is an artist who creates artwork and simply gives it away.

They are driven by some purpose, whether it be to make people happy as with the case of artist Bren Bataclan of Cambridge. He has created artwork that can be taken into homes for free, as well as free murals for everyone to see.

The benefits of being a giveaway artist are immediate. Artwork given away in such a fashion is instantly inspiring to the artist and to the person receiving the art.

If you paint a mural at a school for instance, you can have the children there contribute to the artwork and be a part of a piece that can last a lifetime. Thus raising self-esteem for kids and contributing to growing communities!

Like I said earlier, I don't know much about making a living giving away artwork, but there is definitely something to be gained that goes well beyond any monetary value.

Last Day at Motel 6

Today is my last day working for Motel 6..

Now I’m getting ready to move out of State to either Nevada, Arizona or Arkansas.

Too many opportunities ahead, it’s just a matter of picking one and running with it.

I’m confused but hopeful