July 18, 2005
It was the day my wife Mary died.
People around me seemed like they were scurrying around in slow motion.
We were getting updates every hour or so from the detectives on how she was killed.
My son Hazen could hear everything.
My five year old little boy, with no tears, no worries, no realization of what death is about.
Looking at my son, my heart aching for him.. his mother is dead.
Hazen says to me in is soft little voice in pure confidence.. "it's okay daddy, mommy will reset".
Inside of me I just fall apart..
Instantly pulling the pieces of my heart together, I tell him the situation is different than the video games he played with his mother.
He doesn't understand..
RESET
Now let's fast forward nine years to this very moment.
Right now I am in the process of moving to another State.
As I pack and move things around the thought of RESETTING, comes back to mind.
Why?
Because that is what I am doing right now.
I am getting rid of the things that I immediately cannot use.
My personal effects are dwindling away.
And I am resetting my life.
I was remarried in 2008 to my second wife Shianne.
That didn't work out so we divorced in 2013.
Now almost a year later, I am finally leveling out.
I know that all I need to do now is simplify my life and keep taking care of my son.
I am able to properly grieve over Mary and Shianne in my own way and my own time.
Being alone helps, but it also hurts.
I luckily have my son Hazen to keep me busy.
But I sometimes wonder how it's gonna be when he's finally on his own.
Will I be like a Samurai with no purpose?
Or will I have something else to fight for.
At this point I really don't know.
All but..
"RESET"
