Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Moving Out
Rolled Up The Driveway and Saw This..
So yeah, looks like the end is near and time to prepare for a new beginning..
Hoo fuckin' rah!
P.S. I'm really sad right now.. I grew up in this house since 1977.. oh well :'(
Hoo fuckin' rah!
P.S. I'm really sad right now.. I grew up in this house since 1977.. oh well :'(
Grandkids
 |
| Left to Right from Top is Mark, Glen, Guy, Greg, Davin Lance, Francine, Grandma, X, Grandpa, Gary, Grant Me next to Francine Bottom from Left is Jonathan, Allyn, Christopher, Sydney, Anthony |
Monday, March 17, 2014
Sunday, March 2, 2014
To Be Or Not
But first..
so..
Back in 86' I hated God for the umpteenth time as normal 16 year olds do.
So I asked him, why should I believe in you?
Especially when there's so much bullshit in this world that you can prevent, but won't!
So he said, to love me is to know me..
I asked him then how do I know who you are?
Then he made me list everything about himself.
Until..
He told me.. what if Existence and Nothingness were ONE?
I said how?
He said "the cross"
This is the place where Eternal Life and Damnation has intersected and become one.
Because Christ, who is One with the Father - descended into hell upon death.
Christ who is One with Life also became one with Death, the Nothingness and complete opposite of what God the Father is.
In essence Existence is Nothing, like Life is Death.
I can honestly say that I love and hate God.
And I believe that's the way he wants it to be.
 |
| Mathilda May from movie "Lifeforce" |
Back in 86' I hated God for the umpteenth time as normal 16 year olds do.
So I asked him, why should I believe in you?
Especially when there's so much bullshit in this world that you can prevent, but won't!
So he said, to love me is to know me..
I asked him then how do I know who you are?
Then he made me list everything about himself.
- Light
- Love
- Righteousness
- Existence
- etc.
- Darkness
- Hate
- Sin
- Nothingness
- etc.
Until..
 |
| Mandelbrot Set |
I said how?
He said "the cross"
This is the place where Eternal Life and Damnation has intersected and become one.
Because Christ, who is One with the Father - descended into hell upon death.
Christ who is One with Life also became one with Death, the Nothingness and complete opposite of what God the Father is.
In essence Existence is Nothing, like Life is Death.
I can honestly say that I love and hate God.
And I believe that's the way he wants it to be.
Confusion Illusion
Is it better to randomly punch people in the face?
Or go out in a blaze of glory?
Who fuckin' knows right?
Who fuckin' cares..
I look at my past and see many beautiful things mixed with some very terrible things.
And it only reminds me of the Yin Yang pullin' on my thang.
Sometimes life just don't make no fuckin' sense at all, yet the journey still has some kind of meaning.
I do know that my relationship with love and hate will always be endless.
And my passion for curiosity takes me to places where my memory won't ever let go.
Doubt, fear and violence can sometimes feel to be a good mix.
But when you know that you won't go there, is when aggravation gets under your skin.
Restlessness breeds anger, while actions don't do enough..
Can my God lead me to peace?
Can my demons suffice my emptiness?
My hunger for death is dead.
And it seems like there's no other purpose.
To live because you love is living?
To not be yourself for fear of losing.
Sacrifice is nothing.
Mother earth won't remember you at all.
Our blood spilled has no meaning.
In recklessness I fall.
Is it luck to get up again?
Here in the middle is everything and nothing.
Just let it be over and over again..
Or go out in a blaze of glory?
Who fuckin' knows right?
Who fuckin' cares..
I look at my past and see many beautiful things mixed with some very terrible things.
Sometimes life just don't make no fuckin' sense at all, yet the journey still has some kind of meaning.
I do know that my relationship with love and hate will always be endless.
And my passion for curiosity takes me to places where my memory won't ever let go.
Doubt, fear and violence can sometimes feel to be a good mix.
But when you know that you won't go there, is when aggravation gets under your skin.
Restlessness breeds anger, while actions don't do enough..
Can my God lead me to peace?
Can my demons suffice my emptiness?
My hunger for death is dead.
And it seems like there's no other purpose.
To live because you love is living?
To not be yourself for fear of losing.
Sacrifice is nothing.
Mother earth won't remember you at all.
Our blood spilled has no meaning.
In recklessness I fall.
Is it luck to get up again?
Here in the middle is everything and nothing.
Just let it be over and over again..
 |
| As I punch you in the face! |
@ LAX 6AM
My dad is going to the Philippines via ANA, but when we get their, park the car and start checking in - they tell us that United took the flight and now we gotta walk to the other end of the airport. NICE ;-)
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Mom
Picked up my mom yesterday at the Greyhound bus station.
I really miss her when she's not here. So when she is, it's really great to spend the time we (Hazen and I) have with her.
As I get older, I realize more and more everyday how important it is to ENJOY the time you have with the people you love.
I just wanna thank God for my mom and her dedication of love.
I can see where my tenacity for handling forgiveness comes from. We share many things on how life is, it's probably because she primarily raised me at 13 after the divorce.
My step father Jim did a lot to help too and I thank God for him and my dad Eleazer for that.
I see that everyone tries in their own way and in their own time.
The past is done, the future not yet and all we have is NOW to fully embrace.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)